citraryo: (Default)
I am so happy that I got a new job!
I accepted the job without having to quit from my recent job. It means I work for 2 place in a day!
I know I will be so busy and tired, but it's okay.
Why? Oh, it's because I will be a kindergarten teacher in my new job! Kya! I miss teaching cute kids! <33333

I will start working next month. I think I won't be bored anymore when I take my hiatus in LJ at the end of July, because I will be busy teaching kids in kindergarten and private course too xD

Hope my healthy won't drop when I start working for the jobs ^^

. . .

May. 22nd, 2011 09:39 am
citraryo: (Default)
Can someone give me a hug? I really need it now. Please help me. . .i can't take it anymore. .
citraryo: (Default)
Minna, i missed you so much *HUGS ATTACK* (/>O<)/≡

uhuhuhuhu my cellphone is broken and my modem for internet is error (okay, it's not error, the error one is me) ( >з<)=3

so, i can't online anymore. i even can't see my email and my lj o(><;)(;><)o

i don't know when i can active again here. RL is so hard lately. my job and my study are like hell sometimes ( ≫_≪)/

that's why i maybe can't be here for a long time. is it hiatus? no, i don't want to. i usually disappear for months but i always try to appear to post my fic once in a while. i think this time i can't do it. without net, i can't do anything o(≧□≦;)o

and...uhm...lately i feel uninterested in Ryo. it means i am not interested to je too. i still love them with all my heart but i think i find the time where i can't be as excited as before. they are doing great but i think i am the one who change here. Ryo is my everything in lj. that's why he effects me so much into writing. i can't write anymore in this kind of mood. eh, but don't worry i won't stop writing! i love writing and i will do it until the rest of my life. i am just not too sure when i can write again. i hope everything is  gonna be okay. i hope i get my net again. i hope i can communicate with you all properly. honestly i wanna talk and be friends with you. i love you all so much! so please wait me and please don't pinch me, nee (/≧∇≦)/^☆

oh, i am here for 1 hour only. i wanna talk to you in this short time if you can (*^O^*)

Bye-Bye♪ ~~(*/>_<)o i will miss u so much!!!!!!

Tears. . .

Apr. 1st, 2011 04:22 pm
citraryo: (Default)
Tears. . .
I dont know why but i think i cried a lot on March. In that month i had many things that happened to me. My birthday, my sadness because of my father, missing my best friend so much, exhausted over my job, sick for almost a month, fight with my brother, my frustration over my study, ranaway from home, lost money and all.

I am so sad but i can't express it. My best friend, the only one who always there for me isn't like that anymore. I feel she is so faraway. She has her new world that i can't reach. She has friends that are so important than me. I dont want to hate her because of that. She was there for me for years. So how can i be so greedy and egoist to always ask her to be beside me? I dont want to burden her with my constant problems. I dont want to trouble her. And when i realized it, she is no longer here. I rarely meet her. She studies in different city. That's why when she comes back, we spend our time in happiness. I dont wanna make her worry at me, so i always pretending i'm okay. i love her so much. . .

Then i am so grateful to know LJ. This is the place when i meet a lot of friends who care about me though we never meet. I always cry and feel so touching when you all give me hugs and support when i am so down. Thank you very much. Thank you *hugs*

minna, i have written a lot of fic for almost a year. I am so happy if my fic can make you smile. It's the only way that can i do to make you happy. Hope you will happy always.

It's so sad that i think i lost a lot of friends that read my fic. I know it would happen because we have our own problem and RL that sometimes are so hard. I hope you all be healthy and fine, ne *hugs*
honestly i am sad when i see much readers left me. They're still there but i think they don't like my fic again. I can't do anything about it. We all have the right to do anything that we like, ne. And i am so sorry minna that i feel down for writing. My latest update of hidden love is the hardest chap for me to write couz i wrote it in tears. .
citraryo: (Default)
I am so sad now.

i cries hard and my heart feels a lot of pain.

my father told me in a harsh tone that he threw away the modem (it's a small equipment like a USB for internet connection). the modem couldn't be installed in my computer so it was so hard to try on. the tecnician gave up to instal it. and my father went angry and stressed to deal with that. that's why he threw the modem away without talk to me first. i did ask him why he did that. eventhoug the modem isn't funtional in my computer, maybe in my brother's computer it can. why don't we try first? or at least we can bring it back to the store to complain about the modem condition or ask for our money back.

but my father didn't do it. he just yelled at me that he threw it away. he also blamed me about that. he told me that i am not independent to take a decision. why did i not tell him to try the modem in m brother computer? i couldn't help but go angry too. how can i tell him if he already threw the modem first?

he is so angry and keep lecturing me. his words is hurting me so much. he said i don't net internet. he prefer me going out to the place that have internet connection to our house instead. i can't stand it anymore. that's why i runaway from my home. okay, i only runaway for na while. i'll come back home as soon as i finish writing this.

minna. i wanna tell you my sorry because i can't talk to you freely like i think i can when i got the modem for net. now, i can't online regularly anymore. my job and my study are killing me too. that's why i think i can't update anything in the near time.

gomen ne, because i made all of my fic here to be private only (just me that can see them). i repost al of them in my fic community [info]u_me_u

the community isn't done yet. i can't manage it in my condition now. but if you want to read my fic you can go there. but it is members only. please read what i wrote there before you join,nee.

there is 43 questions that you have to fill to be the member. it's okay if you don't fulfill all of them. just choose which questions do you like to fill in.

i am so sorry minna. please forgive me. and plese give me hugs?
really love you

citraryo: (Default)
Minna, i am so sorry i can't chat with you because my computer is attacked by virus TwT
It needs a few days to fix it. That's why i can't use my internet at all *pouts*

and i am so sad because RL is not so great lately. I am drained and cry to much lately. I even got an accident. It's a ball accident actually. A kid kicked a ball so hard and it hit straight to my face! I knew it was just an accident but it seriously hurt! My glasses was broken. My right eye and cheek was red and hurt. I still feel dizzy until now. Uhuhuhu

everything is not good for me right now. I am too down, sad and tired to do anything. I lost intererest in writing especially when my computer get a problem. So i am sorry if i can't write fic soon. Besides, i am so sad because some of my old fics link are broken! I cried when i knew about that. I don't know why it could happen. That was why i couldn't help but cry. My old fics have many precious memories for me. I met new friends and readers because of them. I tried step by step to improve my writing with that. So i cried when they're gone. .

Minna i miss you so much. Hope everything is gonna be okay.

~hug you, kiss you and peace from citra-chan~
citraryo: (Default)
Minna, how are you? I hope you have a nice day :)

i am so tired. Seriously, my body was sore and i don't get enough sleep. But i am so happy because finally i will get my own internet connection!!!
I really worked hard to get that and finally it comes true xD

I will get my own net around friday or saturday! It means now i can talk and chat with you online!! Kyaaa! I am so happy!!

So, minna, i really wanna talk with you and be friends closely. That's why, if you don't mind, can you tell me your accounts of email, facebook, Yahoo Messanger and tweeter so we can talk and chat there? Hehe

arigato minna. I can't wait to talk to you freely because we never talk to each other so closely ne. I really want we chat about everything, such as fics, ideas of fic, JE boys, JE group and even for random and our real life. I think it will be exciting and fun! Do you think the same with me? XDD *huuuuuugs*

~peace from citra-chan~
citraryo: (Default)
Hai, minna, how are u?
I am sorry i can't reply ur comments in my previous posts and fics. I am still sick but i have to work to get money to have my own internet. So please wait and forgive me >_<

oh, and i was shocked when i read the rumour that KAT-TUN plagiat a song? I confused bcause the songwriter was the one who apologized about what he said about KAT-TUN?? Ugh, i didn't quite understand. Could someone tell me the right information of it? It made me remember the time Ryo was rumoured about plagiarsm of his song 'Ordinary' TwT

Then, the a little announchement from me is i decided i'll make my fic community next month. Hope u support me for that =)
and i hope i'll get better soon bcause i need a lot of time, energy, strength and support when i arrange that. I bet it must be tiring to move all my fics there. So, please don't be angry with me if i can't update my fics soon, ne.
Thank you for your undersanding, minna. *hugs you tightly*

time to go to work now :)

~take care and peace from citra-chan~


Jan. 11th, 2011 01:09 pm
citraryo: (Default)
It's the 1st day for me to do my new job. I am so tired but it's okay because i always love teaching kids. They are so adorable, talk-active and smart. It's been a long time for me to teach, so i was quite nervous today. I hope i can do the best as a teacher for the next and next day xD

By the way i feel more tired because of another problem. I love writing fic and try my best to write them to make me and you smile. But i am so sad when i don't get many feedback anymore. I understand maybe you're busy, don't have net connection, lazy to comment maybe or even you just simply don't care to comment. I don't want to force you to comment always in my post, i just want you to care about me, or my fic, or my pic. I love u and respect u so much. U are my power and motivation here. You are my best friends though i never see or meet u. I always wish you will care or respect what i do here like i do for you. But again i can force u anything. Please don't get me wrong. I just feel lonely lately, especially when i post a fic, there are just few people that showed their loves for my fic. I really love them.

I am so sad when everytime i see my guest state. There are so many people who came into my lj but 98% from them didn't even want to leave a simple comment. Then i got sad even more when i read again people who added me and said they loved my fic. I start wondering it's true or not because i never see them comment since that. It hurts me. Really hurts me. I want real friends or people who care about me without having to add me. I really appreciate people who dropped comments to me though we didn't add/know each other.

That's why i think i want to do the cut for my f-list. For me, friends mean care, respect, love, brightness, motivation, faith and honesty. I want to start from the beginning. So i am sorry. I love you all and thank you for everything. If i cut you i think you know why i do that for you.

Gomenasai minna. I can't say please don't hate me. I just can say thank you. *hugs*



Dec. 28th, 2010 09:29 pm
citraryo: (Default)
*sobs*minna,is my writing so bad?

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citraryo: (Default)
Minna, did you watch JOKER? Kyaaa Ryo was cho kakkoi and sooo pervert there! *dies*

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