`☆、。・:*:・°`★ I believe that rainbow is the color of our hearts `☆、。・:*:・°`★

Minna, i missed you so much *HUGS ATTACK* (/>O<)/≡

uhuhuhuhu my cellphone is broken and my modem for internet is error (okay, it's not error, the error one is me) ( >з<)=3

so, i can't online anymore. i even can't see my email and my lj o(><;)(;><)o

i don't know when i can active again here. RL is so hard lately. my job and my study are like hell sometimes ( ≫_≪)/

that's why i maybe can't be here for a long time. is it hiatus? no, i don't want to. i usually disappear for months but i always try to appear to post my fic once in a while. i think this time i can't do it. without net, i can't do anything o(≧□≦;)o

and...uhm...lately i feel uninterested in Ryo. it means i am not interested to je too. i still love them with all my heart but i think i find the time where i can't be as excited as before. they are doing great but i think i am the one who change here. Ryo is my everything in lj. that's why he effects me so much into writing. i can't write anymore in this kind of mood. eh, but don't worry i won't stop writing! i love writing and i will do it until the rest of my life. i am just not too sure when i can write again. i hope everything is  gonna be okay. i hope i get my net again. i hope i can communicate with you all properly. honestly i wanna talk and be friends with you. i love you all so much! so please wait me and please don't pinch me, nee (/≧∇≦)/^☆

oh, i am here for 1 hour only. i wanna talk to you in this short time if you can (*^O^*)

Bye-Bye♪ ~~(*/>_<)o i will miss u so much!!!!!!

Minna, please tell me how to improve my english and make me understand my mistake in my writing. I really need your help because i am not so good in english and i do want to write fic with a good grammar.

99,99% of you who joined in my fic comm told me that the bad thing in my writing is my bad grammar. T.T i am so sorry for making you read my fics that have so many grammar mistake *cries*

that's why please help me, ne. The 1st time i realized how bad my grammar is when people talked about it in one of jeauthormeme. I was shock and so sad, but then i realized they didn't want to hurt me. I think they cared about me and wanted me to be better in writing with making me notice where my mistakes are.

Minna, let's be honest with me, ne. Tell me what you want to say to me. I am not a perfect person/author so i know you do have a feeling to say about what you hate/ what you don't like/ what you want/ what your suggestion/ what you think or what you love about my writing maybe?

Please tell me everything here. You can critic me also. I won't be angry or sad. I promise. We are friends so i believe we want the best for all of us ^^

thank you minna. Love you so much! *hugs*

Tears. . .
I dont know why but i think i cried a lot on March. In that month i had many things that happened to me. My birthday, my sadness because of my father, missing my best friend so much, exhausted over my job, sick for almost a month, fight with my brother, my frustration over my study, ranaway from home, lost money and all.

I am so sad but i can't express it. My best friend, the only one who always there for me isn't like that anymore. I feel she is so faraway. She has her new world that i can't reach. She has friends that are so important than me. I dont want to hate her because of that. She was there for me for years. So how can i be so greedy and egoist to always ask her to be beside me? I dont want to burden her with my constant problems. I dont want to trouble her. And when i realized it, she is no longer here. I rarely meet her. She studies in different city. That's why when she comes back, we spend our time in happiness. I dont wanna make her worry at me, so i always pretending i'm okay. i love her so much. . .

Then i am so grateful to know LJ. This is the place when i meet a lot of friends who care about me though we never meet. I always cry and feel so touching when you all give me hugs and support when i am so down. Thank you very much. Thank you *hugs*

minna, i have written a lot of fic for almost a year. I am so happy if my fic can make you smile. It's the only way that can i do to make you happy. Hope you will happy always.

It's so sad that i think i lost a lot of friends that read my fic. I know it would happen because we have our own problem and RL that sometimes are so hard. I hope you all be healthy and fine, ne *hugs*
honestly i am sad when i see much readers left me. They're still there but i think they don't like my fic again. I can't do anything about it. We all have the right to do anything that we like, ne. And i am so sorry minna that i feel down for writing. My latest update of hidden love is the hardest chap for me to write couz i wrote it in tears. .

I am so sad now.

i cries hard and my heart feels a lot of pain.

my father told me in a harsh tone that he threw away the modem (it's a small equipment like a USB for internet connection). the modem couldn't be installed in my computer so it was so hard to try on. the tecnician gave up to instal it. and my father went angry and stressed to deal with that. that's why he threw the modem away without talk to me first. i did ask him why he did that. eventhoug the modem isn't funtional in my computer, maybe in my brother's computer it can. why don't we try first? or at least we can bring it back to the store to complain about the modem condition or ask for our money back.

but my father didn't do it. he just yelled at me that he threw it away. he also blamed me about that. he told me that i am not independent to take a decision. why did i not tell him to try the modem in m brother computer? i couldn't help but go angry too. how can i tell him if he already threw the modem first?

he is so angry and keep lecturing me. his words is hurting me so much. he said i don't net internet. he prefer me going out to the place that have internet connection to our house instead. i can't stand it anymore. that's why i runaway from my home. okay, i only runaway for na while. i'll come back home as soon as i finish writing this.

minna. i wanna tell you my sorry because i can't talk to you freely like i think i can when i got the modem for net. now, i can't online regularly anymore. my job and my study are killing me too. that's why i think i can't update anything in the near time.

gomen ne, because i made all of my fic here to be private only (just me that can see them). i repost al of them in my fic community u_me_u

the community isn't done yet. i can't manage it in my condition now. but if you want to read my fic you can go there. but it is members only. please read what i wrote there before you join,nee.

there is 43 questions that you have to fill to be the member. it's okay if you don't fulfill all of them. just choose which questions do you like to fill in.

i am so sorry minna. please forgive me. and plese give me hugs?
really love you

Minna, can you help me? I need some questions that i will add in the list questions which you will answer if you want to join in my fic community. I want you to share and give a/some questions so that you will be the part of building my fic comm :)
how do you think about that, minna?

Waiting your answer with my super cute puppy eyes XD

~rest well and peace from citra-chan~

Hi, minna, how is your day? XD

My best friend will leave to other city to continue her study. We had dinner together in a public restaurant. We chatted about JE boys , lj and fic. We will meet again in June. It's soo long. That's why i bet i'll miss her >w<

uwa, sorry for my ranting *hides from tomato attack*
actually i wanna ask you if you know a famous mangaka yaoi called Masara Minase?
Her yaoi is my FAVORITE bcause his drawing is so beautiful. Her stories are interesting and lovely. She has many yaoi and those are worth to read. I love her story 'Gokujo no Koibito' so much. Her characters are so handsome! Your eyes is entertained by her skill of drawing. She is a wonderful mangaka ever!
So, do you know her? If yes, which stories of her do u like and why? If not, maybe you can start reading her stories ^^

there is something that makes me love her stories because i can perfectly imagine that her characters are akame or ryoda! Kya~
you have to read her manga! XD

~Minna, good nite and peace from citra-chan~

I did decide to f-lock and f-cut of my journal. There are many reason that make me want to cry and all. I am glad my best friend, fu-chan and a-chan helped me to try finding the solution back then. Actually i planned to do that at the end of december last year, but i thought i wanted to give u a chance to show your love, or even care for my works here. But i realized i just get hurt again and again. But thanks to my friends who are always here for me. They give me hugs, give me care, give me support, give me encourage, give me warm love, and want to spend their precious time to say thank you to my works or say what happen/please smile when something happen to me. You know who i am talking about because it's you. So give u hugs attack xD

Then i wonder if it is alright to f-lock and f-cut? I want to know your opinion, minna :)

honestly, i am really tired. And it gives me a strong and bad impact every time i find many annoying things about my fic/my treasure. I am easy to cry. Now, i think it's not a good idea to cry when i almost die bcause of my tiredness.

I already talked about f-cut before but i only got a super little feedback. So i think i'll wait your opinion now. If u don't want to speak here it's okay. I won't force u anything. I just want you to know that i give you a chance to show your love. I am tired to say this to people who keep silence and enjoy others (authors/fans) works without even care to say their respect or love.

Sorry if i am kind of annoy you. I am just so tired. In this situation, i feel down and turn into so pessimistic. Please show your love though it's only a little 'Hi~'. Thank you so much minna. Sorry for messying your f-page >w<

good night and have a nice dream <3

~peace from citra-chan~

Hai, minna, i miss you sooo much *hugs*

i am so busy with my job, but i'll try to post my fanmade calender of the member of k8, kattun, news, and even arashi and hsj (though it's just aiba and yamada xD). Actually I finished making the calender a week ago or so, but i didn't have a time to post them TwT
So i think i'll post the calender tomorrow morning bcause i will be going for work in the afternoon.

Then i think i want to post fic too. So i need your help here. Hehe please give me prompts or request fic to me. Tell me what u want for the story. Well, i can write it so long, just a short story, and i prefer to write SMUT!!! *get smacked*
please tell me quickly about your ryoda (or akame fic if i have more time xD) because i'll start writing as soon as possible :)

oh, i just can write one or two fic depend on the time u tell me about the requested fic or how long i write a fic. If i get a lot of request *hoping cutely* i'll chose the interesting one, so i hope u don't kill me if i don't chose/write yours. Don't worry i'll write all of the request one by one though i can't promise to write them soon. So wait me ne. *hugs*

so it's the time for me to wait your request fic *sit in the corner of your room and watching you with my cute puppy eyes* XD

Minna, can u rec fic akame multichapter for me?*puppy eyes*

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